Surprise Party
Fall Polidori 2 Nov 2002
Mary had many, many friends.
One day, Mary’s friend Delia went around talking to everyone who’s life she touched to gather supporters for a surprise birthday party in her honor.
Many of Mary’s closest friends lived in a giant house with her. They had all come there under various circumstances and in bad situations, and Mary had helped them all without thinking twice about it.
Delia reminded many of them of Mary’s generosity:
Remember when she fed you and your children? After your husband died?
Remember that time she killed a spider for you?
And who taught you English?
Remember how she provided for you after you lost your leg in the accident? Put a roof over your head and kept you warm?
It’s time we showed her how much we appreciate everything she’s done. Today is her birthday.
Tell everyone you know who’s life she has touched. Be here tonight, before she comes home from work. We’re throwing her a surprise birthday party.
Act Two: The Party Assembles
The turnout was incredible. You might call Mary’s friends simple, but there were so many in attendance that no one could count high enough to know how many there were.
Finally, they heard her car pull up outside. They all gathered in the darkness, waiting for her to walk in through the back door, hoping she would be pleased and recognize their gratitude for everything she had done.
Act Three: Surprise!
Mary walked into her home the same way she did every night after work. She entered the back door, and flipped on the light.
Mary screamed! The walls and floor of her home were filled with excited, chittering insects of all varieties. Hundreds of cockroaches swarmed and chattered about her feet. A thousand flies lept from the walls, and an unbroken line of beetles spiraled about the ceiling.
And as Mary lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, fading into unconsciousness from the shock and horror of it all. She would later swear that she could hear tiny voices singing happy birthday to her. The End.
